iPhone Trauma

So, I had somewhat of an existential crisis recently.

Back-story: On July 2nd, 2011, I went for a 3 mile run. As my run neared its end, I went to hit “stop” on Runkeeper, but I couldn’t because my phone wouldn’t slide to unlock. Turns out, you can’t really use an iPhone if it won’t slide to unlock because it’s all touchscreen. When I got home, I went onto the interweb to see what troubleshooting steps were available to me. All I could find was power cycling the device, which helped not. I purchased a Go Phone and put my SIM card in it, so that I had a means of communicating. I did more research and discovered that I might just need a new screen. I went to Radio Shack, knowing full well they probably wouldn’t be able to help me. It was there that I found out that I needed another part replaced. One of the Radio Shack employees helped me with that yesterday and now my phone works.

Psychoanalysis: During my time without my iPhone, I literally went through the 5 Stages of Grief. While that might seem like I’m exaggerating, it’s a true story.

#1 Denial and isolation. When I realized that my touchscreen was unresponsive, I kept trying anyway. I had my friend repeatedly call me, even though you still have to slide to unlock to answer calls. I would walk away from it and come back and try to slide to unlock, but to no avail. I shut it down a million times, hoping it just needed power cycling. It was probably an hour before I gave up and bought that Go Phone. I received a lot of text messages that day, but I couldn’t bring myself to respond, especially to the happy ones. I was so, so depressed.

#2 Anger. I called my husband a little while after I got my Go Phone. I’d have enough time to play with the phone to know that it wasn’t my iPhone. I couldn’t even check my email without signing up for $5/monthly Mobile Web (and by the way, I have an unlimited data plan). I couldn’t properly check my Twitter feed. I couldn’t check in on Get Glue. I couldn’t play Words with Friends. When I talked to my husband, I was sad. He laughed at me and told me to get a grip. In retrospect, I might have been overreacting, but I ended up hanging up on him because “he didn’t understand! Why didn’t he understand???”

I also experience extreme anger towards cell phone companies for making us love our phones so much. I had a moment where I was like, “Eff the man! I don’t need a smartphone! I could save $360/year if I didn’t have this damn data package!” That moment of sanity was short-lived.

# 3 Bargaining. I called AT&T to see what my options were. The two I was presented with were: (1) Do an early upgrade and pay $500 for an iPhone 4 or (2) Wait until July 30, when I’ll be eligible again. At this point, I could physically feel my instability, and I really was trying to talk myself into paying $500 for a phone. I had even convinced Crazy Hillary that it was completely worth it and what was the point of waiting three weeks for $300+ worth of savings? Eventually, the Radio Shack guys talked me out of that and out of just filing an insurance claim (that’s a $99 deductible).

#4 Depression. I would say that this was how I spent the rest of my time without an iPhone. I never did get to Stage 5- Acceptance. The only reason I know that I was so depressed was because of my complete attitude change yesterday when I was holding my phone again. The Radio Shack guy had told me it wasn’t the digitizer (which was his original theory), it was the main something-I-can’t-remember and that would cost more to fix. I was depressed all over again. I was going to skip the gym and order a pizza, but his “higher” price was ridiculously affordable, and when he brought me my repaired phone, I went nuts (ask my husband, literally nuts). I did go for that run, and I skipped on the pizza.

The Conclusion: I have always prided myself on not being addicted to any substances, but I realized over the last five days, that I do have an addiction.

My name is Hillary, and I’m a smartphoneaholic. And when I stop and look around and watch people eating lunch together, but not talking to each other just tapping away on their phones, I realize that I am not the only one. When cell phones companies get us hooked on data and then take away unlimited data options, we don’t boycott those companies; we just deal with it because we have to have it. We have to get our digital fix.

What an interesting path down which this world travels…

H, out.

This entry was posted in Random Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s