So, there once was a lass who was wed.
She went to the bureau of motor vehicles to have her license changed into her new name. Upon giving the clerk her information, the clerk said, “Sorry, I can’t help you today. Your license is suspended.”
The lass thought there must be something wrong and asked, “Why would my license be suspended?”
The clerk sized her up, judged her, and said “A DUI or not paying your speeding ticket.”
The lass was offended that these were the things the clerk associated with her, but neither were true. The clerk handed her a slip of paper with a website on it and told her that was where she could find the answers she sought.
The lass asked, “So, I have to drive home to find this out?” And the clerk shrugged.
After illegally driving to her house, she inquired on the web and was only given the answer “SUSPENDED- INFRACTION.” After searching for a long time, she found a number where she could speak to a human instead of a machine.
Whence someone finally answered the phone, she inquired, “I did everything the BMV clerk told me to, but it only says ‘infraction,’ and I don’t know what my infraction was.”
The lady on the phone pulled up her record and said, “It’s suspended because you never took your defensive driving class.”
“What defensive driving class?” the lass asked.
“The one you were supposed to take in 2008 after your last speeding ticket.”
“How would I know I had to take a defensive driving class?”
“We sent you a packet in the mail.”
“I never received a packet.”
“Obviously, you did and ignored it.”
“But ma’am, if someone told me do this or my license is suspended, I would do whatever it was.”
Despite her pleas of ignorance, the lady on the phone did not believe her.
“So what do I do?” asked the lass.
“You have to take defensive driving.”
The lady on the phone walked the lass through the process of signing up for defensive driving.
At the end of the phone call, the lass said, “Out of curiosity, how long has my license been suspended?”
The lady on the phone answered, “Since February 19, 2009.”