The Gym

So, I workout on-again/off-again. It’s a constant back and forth that changes month to month.  The fact is though, for me to maintain or lose weight, I HAVE TO work out. (Especially if I want to eat what I want to eat.)

The last two years my workouts have primarily happened at the various International Sports Clubs around town. I signed away two years of my life because the fiance said he’d workout if he had a partner (NOT!). When I went in to sign up, the girl made it seem like the Gold (versus the $15 cheaper a month Red Plan) Plan was the better deal. After about two months, I realized, with the GP, I was paying for racquetball (which I don’t play), Pilates (which I didn’t attend), and tanning (I am black).

I have embarrassed myself twice at the gym.  The first one I couldn’t help. I was on the stairmaster at the far end of the room.  The cardio machines are on the second floor which is basically a balcony. You can look down and see the racquetball court and weight machines on the first floor.  The stairmasters are directly in front of the racquetball court. I was watching the old men play.  As usual, they were sweating, shouting, and altogether taking the game far too seriously.  One of them hit the ball against the wall, and by some freak accident, the ball flew to the back, glass wall. There is a tiny space between the glass wall and the ceiling at the top, and the ball went flying through that crack.  It went up, up, and hit me square in the chest, knocking the wind out of me and making a really loud noise. The force pushed me down off the stairmaster. I looked around, and everyone on the cardio machines was staring at me. I had to act like I didn’t feel like vomiting and crying because I was embarrassed even though it wasn’t my fault! I threw the ball back down at the old racquetball players who were profusely apologizing while I said, “It’s okay. I’m fine!” That was probably a year and a half ago.

More recently, I was finished “running” on the treadmill.  I turned it off (or so I thought) and jumped up on the sides.  I stretched my arms a bit, then went to stretch my legs. I put my feet back on the treadmill track… which was on.  I went flying down the track and off the treadmill, and almost fell. There weren’t very many people there, but the man on the treadmill next to me just stared at me like I was an idiot. He didn’t once ask me if I was okay.

$1080 later, my contract is finally, FINALLY up. This gym membership has officially been the biggest rip off of my life.

Well, minus the 12 pounds it helped me shed…

H, out.

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