Baby Got Back

So, I have mad respect for Sir Mix A Lot; the man speaks the truth.

Like Mr. A Lot, I like big butts, and I cannot lie! I have always been attracted to men folk with rumps.  I don’t know what it is about a bulbous booty that makes me want to say, “Can I get yo numba, baby?”

I feel like as a society, we strive to look anorexic, and as such, Booty Feva has fallen by the wayside.  (I commend Reebok for those Easytone Shoes… maybe Booty Feva’s coming back!) People, flat butts are NOT a thing! I refuse to believe that being thin also means that you can’t have a nice-sized tush.  As such, I’ve made it one of my missions in life to instill pride in the white girls of the world who are embarrassed by their behinds.

One case where I stepped in to save Back-A-Lot Pride was in high school.  My MOH had a big ol’ badunkadunk. She was an incredibly skinny, young, and shy white girl who felt ashamed of her glorious derrière despite the fact that  it attracted the attention of white and black boys alike.  With my coaching, she fostered an undeniable love for her backside; she realized it was okay to be bootylicious.

As a black chic, I have a really big butt.  In fact, it helped me to win the title Miss New Booty at a frat party my junior year of college. (Side note: my competition in the contest flashed the DJ… and still lost! She should be embarrassed.) It’s always been a source of great pride for me though it has been diminishing in size.  In my quest to lose weight, I’ve taken to running.  Fact: Running shrinks your butt.

I’m currently torn between two decisions. Do I remain a chunker to preserve the immensity of my gluteus maximus? Or do I let my hindquarters shrink to a size that would still be respectable though nowhere near as big? Decisions.

H, out.

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2 Responses to Baby Got Back

  1. Leah says:

    LUNGES & SQUATS!!!!!!!

    !!!!!!!!

    Firm that booty guuuurrl

    Running keeps you on your toes. A nice tush requires resistance on your heels.

  2. Julie says:

    Give up the running. My glutes are not going anywhere…

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