Mirror, Mirror

A frightening exercise, but one worth a try.

Look at yourself in the mirror. Try to hold the gaze for at least two minutes.

If you do not like what you see, you need to make a change in your life. If you are content with what you see, then keep at it.

I do this from time to time. It’s an uncomfortable exercise, but it keeps me grounded.

H, out.

My Dream

I just woke up from a dream where I was attending a weird school, but after lunch where I gorged myself with pizza, I was overcome with sickness.

I rushed to a secret bathroom, but couldn’t puke till the girl in there left. Campus security came to escort her from the bathroom which turned into the dean’s office.

She got in trouble for something then the dean gave me a bag to puke in. As I was puking, my outfit transformed into a teaching outfit so I was a teacher not a student. And as I was puking uncontrollably, I started peeing my pants. I ran back to the bathroom, and then I woke up.

What. The. Hell. Does. That. Dream. Mean? I investigated via Dream Moods and picked out the things that are actually valid right now.

Pizza
To see or eat pizza in your dream represents abundance, choices, and variety. It may also indicate that you are lacking or feeling deprived of something. Alternatively, a pizza may have similar significance to a circle.

Vomiting
To dream that you are vomiting indicates that you need to reject or discard an aspect of your life that is revolting. There are some emotions or concepts that you need to confront and then let go.

Urination
To see urine in your dream represents the feelings you have rejected. Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on your “pissy” attitude.

To dream that you are urinating symbolizes a cleansing and a release of negative or repressed emotions. Depending on your dream context, urination is symbolic of having or lacking basic control of your life. You are literally “pissed off” and not expressing yourself in a positive or constructive manner.

School
Alternatively, a dream that takes place in school may be a metaphor for the lessons that you are learning from your waking life. You may be going through a “spiritual learning” experience.

To dream that you are at a new school means that you are feeling out of place in some situation. Or perhaps there is a new lesson that you need to learn.

Teacher
To dream that you are a teacher indicates that you are in a position of disseminating your knowledge and wisdom to others. The dream may imply how you are “teaching someone a lesson” and giving them a hard time about something. If you are a teacher in real life, then the dream is just a reflection of who you are and is about your work.

Interesting. I think it just means that I want to gorge myself on the rest of Rachel’s pizza rolls.

H, out.

Carpooling

So, I carpool with the art teacher and the counselor. The following moment brought to you by the joys of carpooling:

Me: “I’ve just discovered I have to poo.”

(Moment’s pause.)

Counselor: I can smell it.

(Windows rolled down. Shouting from the art teacher and counselor about how bad it smells. I am laughing in the backseat.)

I’m a classy lady.

H, out.

True Blood Season 4 Finale

Okay, seriously?

There is no way in hell what I just watched is real.

I have an idea of how it will be “fixed,” and I don’t want to write it for fear of giving it away for anyone who isn’t caught up, but WHAT THE HELL????

Not okay. Not okay at all.

H, out.

Cheetos

Today, I looked in the break room and saw that today’s snack was Cheetos. When I got a moment, I ran in to grab some.

They weren’t Cheetos. They were baby carrots. The disappointment I felt was astronomical. Fail.

H, out.

Drug Tests

So, I quit my part-time job today. This job consisted of administering drug tests for the courthouse probation program. It was relatively easy, and it paid $12/hour, and I only had to work 4 hours on Saturday and Sunday morning. What is wrong with such an easy gig you say? You should probably stop reading because I’m about to tell you, and it ain’t cute. In fact, it’s just plain nasty.

We’ll start with the easier things to handle. I had to go into the bathroom with the women (the bathroom was shared with the men, and so it smelled like urine, they always left the seat up, and they often missed), and after they pee, they hand you the cup. This cup is almost always dripping with pee on the sides. I put the cup on a paper towel on the counter and then dip the drug test in it, cap the drug test, and wait. If the test is negative, then I dump the pee in the toilet and toss the  cup in the trash. My issues here are there is this trash can in the rest room filled with cups that are crusted in pee residue. My other issue here is that I now have to walk to the office with this paper towel that the drug test is on, and that grosses me out because there’s a pee ring on the paper towel from where the pee cup was a minute ago.

Once in the office, I have to put the test face down on the copy machine and run a copy. The corner of the copy machine on which I have to put the test is crusted just enough that it grossed me out. Once the copy was made, the test and its pee-ring paper towel were tossed in the trash next to the machine. Also gross. And no one, but me seemed phased by the fact that pee residue was just in the office with us.

So all that grosses me out, but the three things happened that I cannot un-see or un-live. Continuing to work at that place would only add to that list, so I threw in the towel. The events are…

1. A woman was trying desperately to pee and was pushing and pushing, and her pushing resulted in her taking a nasty old dump. The smell filled the restroom, and I had to stand there and be professional, but what I really wanted to do was puke all over the place.

2. (Seriously, if you didn’t believe me about the nastiness of this post, this is probably a good place to stop reading…) A hazard of the job is seeing women’s vaginas when I grab the cup from them. For the most part this isn’t a big deal because it’s just the top and there’s nothing too exciting up there. Last weekend, I saw a vagina that not only was three times the size of a normal one, but all the innards were OUT. It was all just hanging out all over the place, and she was just sitting up normally so there was nothing special about the position she was sitting in. Her vagina was just created to be an outtie, an octopus. It was absolutely, flipping frightening.

3. (Seriously, stop reading…) And finally, I dealt with a woman who warned me that she had a heavy period flow this time around. I was like that’s fine; it happens to the best of us. But no, it was not fine. It wasn’t that a few drops made it into the sample. No, that would be too nice. The entire sample was dark red. She peed dark, bloody urine into the cup and handed it to me. I mean, I hated dealing with pee, but blood is where I draw the line. I took the test like I was supposed to, but I wanted nothing more than to vomit all over this women and quit on the spot.

It was an interesting (and extremely short-lived) experience, but I do not need extra money that bad.

H, out.

Token Black Teacher

Check out my new teacher blog.

I moved all my teacher posts from this blog to it.

H, out.

Broken Smile

So, I had some dental work done today. It involved my mouth being numbed.

My friend described my broken smile perfectly: “You look like my evil grandmother after alzheimer’s set in.”

For your entertainment:

.

Other things that are difficult to to do today: (1) drink from a straw and (2) eat.

H, out.

Why I Loved Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II

(I do read the books and have read this one a million times, but I’m talking strictly about the movie.)

1. I love the score in this movie, and it gets no credit at all. The scene where Harry thinks he’s marching to his death? The scene where we watch Snape’s past and watch him hold on to his love Lilly? Scenes like this and so many others were so enhanced by the amazing music that slinked its way into our ears and moved us without us knowing it was happening.

2. I loved Professor McGonagall. She is best described as uptight, but still you like her. I started to really like her in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, but in this movie, I came to love her. I loved when she stepped in front of Harry to protect him from Snape. I loved when she banished the Slytherins to the basement and called on the faculty and students to take up arms against the Death Eaters. I loved when she said, “I’ve always wanted to use that spell” with the excitement of a school girl after she brought the stone knights to life.

3. I love that Harry Potter never throws a killing curse at Voldemort and still kicks his ass.

4. I love the scene where Snape was holding Lilly. While it was incredibly sad, it really spoke to his undying love for this woman even though she chose a different man.

5. In fact, I loved everything about Snape in this movie. Alan Rickman’s portrayal was absolutely amazing (and always has been), but in this movie, he is absolutely on point. It’s even cooler to know that J.K. Rowling told him after the second movie (or was it the third?) the truth about Snape – that he loved Lilly, that he was going to kill Dumbledore, and that he was a key player in bringing down Voldemort.

6. I loved that the Malfoys, who we hate for so many different reasons, played huge roles in keeping Harry alive during this battle. Draco pretends not to recognize him at Malfoy Manor, and Narcissa pretends like he’s still alive in the forest.

7. I absolutely loved that Voldemort could feel every time a horcrux was destroyed, and I loved his humanity. He wasn’t as scary to me this time because it was clear that he was just a frightened man with inane dreams about immortality.

8. I loved the IMAX and 3D experience, and I’m never watching a movie in 3D again unless it’s in IMAX.

9. I loved that Bellatrix, Nagini, and Voldemort all had similar deaths. These three have taken so much from us throughout the series- Sirius, Snape, Cedric, Lilly, James, the Longbottoms. In death, they exploded into tiny particles that were spread around, as if to say they weren’t worth the space their corpses would’ve taken up.

In short, I loved this movie.

H, out.

Dear Diary

So, my parents dropped off boxes of crap that I’ve been storing in their basement. I found a couple old diaries (one from 8th/9th grade and one that spans 11th/12th grade I think) through which I am reading. Most of it is drivel, but some of it is entertaining.

There are a couple of surprisingly insightful passages:
7/26/98: “When I said, ‘I wish I could have boyfriend,’ I don’t know what I was thinkin. I don’t really wish that.  Boys can really change a girl. My friend Jennifer is a b-otch whenever she has guys. My ex-friend Marquita became a slut. Girls have sex and some get pregnant or when they break up w/ a guy, rumors spread about them. So I think I like the way I am. Except I wouldn’t mind getting rid of my blackheads.”

2/12/00: “I just finished reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone Friday nightish-Saturday morningish. That book was awesome. I couldn’t put it down. Now I need the next one in the series.”

Sometime in HS: “Sex is bad. That’s what grown folk say. So if it’s so damn bad why do grown folk do it so much? B/c they’re older? More mature? If they’re so mature why do they divorce and marry for the wrong reason? Virginity is a precious thing they say. Why do so many people just throw it away? Should I wait? Or should I give in and do. What if I’m in love? Love. That’s funny. High schoolers dunno what love is. I wish I knew that way I wouldn’t waste time with the wrong person.”

And these were just funny”
8/6/98: “I’m doing this ISTEP head start thing at school. But, I think I’m a little smart for that. Because the people in my class were kinda dumb.”

8/14/98: “My assistant principal, Mrs. Threat, is as black as space.”

H, out.